I received a letter from the President of a community college encouraging me to apply to a Honor Society and/or a Honor Program, since I made excellent grades for the semester. My initial reaction was "I'm an inmate, this might not apply to me". Doubt.
Although the letter had my name on it, it did not feel like it could really be meant for me.
I had to give myself credit though. I was able to concentrate on my studies while living in a open dorm with 80 people. And I maintained my work assignment as a prison library clerk. I had a decision to make, but I still needed to ask my support system. I asked them what did they think about me applying for membership. Their response offered more encouragement and a different, guiding perspective. They have real life experiences, yet I'm trying to free myself to gain some. From an inmate's lens I see the doubt, so having the ability to see an opportunity is clouded by this doubt.
I was able to concentrate on my studies while living in a open dorm with 80 people.
But then I tell myself if I don't struggle and fight for what is right and beneficial, then why should I be successful. So I push myself with purpose of searching and creating opportunities to improve my quality of life. If I'm not careful and observant then prison can become a mental prison. What I mean is if I think like a prisoner then that is what I am or becoming. Prison is a place where change is discouraged. Everyday is routine and structured.
I'm a fighter. But over the past 25 years I've learned to choose my battles.
I'm going to apply to the honor society.
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